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OWN IT!

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Recently, once again, the subject of  WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WHEN I GROW UP, has resurfaced. I’ve been focused on being official Wedding Planner for Daughter Dearest’s wedding next month but am realizing that once that project is complete . . . and I have RECUPERATED . . . I will be ready for a new project.

By my own conscious creation, I am in the blessed position of having that choice. I do not have a 9-5 gig and I take on only the clients I choose, when I choose (or when God chooses me 😉 ). And sometimes, well, often times, I feel guilty about that. I also feel a bit of shame around being so fortunate, even though I worked very hard, on every level of Body, Mind and Spirit to create my current reality.

Coincidentally, at this time, I was notified of my annual renewal in a business group I have valued greatly for 2 years now. It is led by my AB FAB FAVORITE Business Mentor and Friend, Jeanna Gabellini. I was feeling a lot of conflict about whether to re-up or not and it was time for a friendly catchup, so Jeanna and I hopped on Skype to discuss.

After catching up on kids, weddings, travel and family, we got down to the business question at hand. I explained where I am at and stated that I really didn’t know what to do about it. And Jeanna . . . in her inimitable fabulously direct way, with a twinkle in her eye said . . . .

. . . .

why don’t you just OWN IT!

 

OWN IT!

And my jaw dropped.

Really??

Just OWN IT?

Not beat myself up?

Not be ashamed?

Not let the ego trick me into believing I was confused?

YEP! She said. Just relax and allow into it and see what comes next!

REALLY??

. . . . .REALLLY????

REALLY!!!

Own the fact that I have consciously created this path. Own the fact that I have the absolute right to make whatever CHOICE I want! Own the fact that there is no Right or Wrong choice! Own the fact that I get to be as happy as I want to be . . . or rather, as I ALLOW MYSELF to be!

The concept actually dovetails perfectly with another AHA moment I had a few weeks ago after discovering that I had sprained my sacroiliac (pelvis) and pulled a ligament months ago, which I had attempted to self treat, and ignore, until the pain became too intense to continue to deal with on my own.

It occurred to me after my osteopath diagnosed the condition that it was time for some EXTREME SELF CARE . . . not just with my Body, but with the Inner Dialogue that had convinced me to carry on despite the pain.

Because, you see, I didn’t OWN the pain either! And if I had, I would have sought a more appropriate solution a lot sooner!

So Dear Ones . . . I ask you today to consider . . .  “WHAT DO YOU NEED TO OWN TODAY?”

Whatever it is, take ownership with compassion and humility as your Divine Companions and then determine what is your next step now that you are willing to integrate the experience or situation FULLY.

Then proceed boldly, albeit gently, forward . . . as fast or slow as you feel you are Divinely Guided!

And leave a comment where you are headed so I can cheer you on!!! 🙂

 

Peace and Blessings!

Filed Under: Align & Shine ·

How To Easily Create Your Own Miracle

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Generally speaking, most of us have a perception of a ‘miracle’ as something quite rare and not easily attainable!

Nothing could be further from the Truth!

A Course In Miracles defines ‘miracle’ as a shift in perception from the feeling of FEAR to the feeling of LOVE.

That’s it!

Not complicated!

Easily attainable!

The primary block to feeling Love, is not the fear. Rather it is our lack of awareness and/or acknowledgement that fear exists around the issue.

Once you identify and acknowledge that you are afraid (often around losing something you think is yours to have, or not getting something you think you must have for your happiness), then you can change your thoughts about the issue to acceptance of what IS.

After that it is only a short hop to Love! Loving yourself for becoming aware of your fear and having the willingness to transform it!

And THAT my friends, is how you create your very own miracle!

Namaste!

Filed Under: Align & Shine ·

ARE YOU WAITING TO BE HAPPY?

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Happiness Is A CHOICE

It’s magically simple actually!

Your happiness is not dependent on a person, place or thing happening TO you!

Your happiness is 1000% dependent on your CHOICE to be happy REGARDLESS of what is going on around you!

No!  I am NOT crazy!

Even in the midst of tragedy you can choose to see the good in the situation or find something to be happy about.  I’m not saying you should not honor the feelings that are appropriate in the moment.  If you are in a burning building trying to get out . . . run like hell and GET OUT!  But once you are safe again, there is no reason not to CHOOSE HAPPY that you are safe rather than replaying the fearful moments of running from the building!

On a more mundane note, you may not like your job . . . but that is not a reason to not be happy!  Surely there is someone there that you like?  Or even perhaps a pen on your desk that is way cool?  Or the fact that you get a paycheck that allows you to buy food and shelter?

It’s all a point of view!

Change your perspective!

Choose HAPPY now!!

Joyful Blessings to your new choices!!!

Filed Under: Align & Shine · Tagged: , ,

YOUR MESSAGE AND WHY IT MATTERS [by Leeza Robertson]

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Once upon a time we learned who we are, why we are here and our place in our community through the art of storytelling.

Once upon a time everybody had a story and everybody’s story was important to the growth, expansion and development of the community in which they lived.

Today however our personal knowledge and experience is not as appreciated as it once was and now that we no longer share our stories we feel less connected to the world around us and we feel less connected to our own inner power, strength and purpose. For many this leaves a big gap in their lives. I want you to really understand in every fiber of your being just how crucial you are to the world around you.

Your Message Matters

We all come here for reason, we all come here for a purpose, we all come to share our knowledge and expand our communities. And we come to do this by telling our story by sharing our knowledge and by expanding the connectedness in the world around us. This not only fills the gap that most people feel but also helps fill the gaps in those around us. Together we all play a part in finding our place in the divine web.

Your message or story be it personal or business has a place in this world. But more importantly it has a community a tribe if you will that is waiting to hear it, read it and share it. Somewhere in a place you may never know of there are others waiting, no needing what you have to offer. Your message is that important.

It can be all too easy to think that in a world that is nosier then ever that what you have to offer wouldn’t even matter at all. But the truth of the matter is the more noise the more need for people to be able to cut through that noise. The art of storytelling is needed more now then ever before.

Right now people are looking for real connections to others. For real solutions to real problems and for inspiration to assist them in achieving something that they feel may be beyond their grasp. If you have ever had a book change your life then you know exactly what I am talking about. That book that moved you was someone elses message or story. The only difference between the person who wrote the book that changed your life and you is that they wrote their story. They committed to their message and they shared it with their tribe.

You can too.

I believe you have something very important to say share and teach.

I believe it is time to bring storytelling back to our community.

Remember your story matters, tell it now.

 Leeza Robertson is a published author with best selling books on Amazon, Kindle and Nook. She also runs programs to assist others in living their dream of becoming a best selling author in under 7days. Find out more at http://LeezaRobertson.com/

Filed Under: Around The Web, Featured Left, Guest Posts ·

Stop Hurting Yourself!

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Only LOVE brings Your DreamsTo Your Door

I did something this morning that I’ve never done before.  In fact I did it TWICE! 

And then I wondered “What the HELL was THAT all about?” 

Well here’s the story …

Generally, as I browse FB, I see mostly positive and/or innocuous stuff which is what I WANT to see.  Every now and then I might see something I don’t particularly like or even find offensive, but usually when I do, I just scroll past it and honor everyone’s right to to post whatever they please. 

But THIS morning, THIS morning it was different.  As I was glancing at my feed,  I spotted a “joke” that I believed was offensive to plus size women.  And instead of ignoring it as usual, I politely commented that I found it offensive FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.

That was scary for me to do.  Like I  said, I pretty much follow the “Live and Let Live” principle but  today, it felt like the right thing to do to SAY something!  

As I scrolled a little further . . . I found a photo of a group of devout religious people praying.  The photo had been “edited” in a VERY derogatory way with an equally derogatory caption.  This time I reported the photo as abusive to FB.

But these 2 actions had me asking myself. . . “What is THIS all about Steph?  Why did these things offend you so much this morning?

And then I got my AHA moment . . .

You  see I’ve been specifically focused on being kinder to myself.  Of loving myself EVEN THOUGH this or that hurts.  Or this or that itches uncomfortably.  Or I think I “should” have done that thing that has been on my (impossible-to-ever-get-done) to-do list.

I’ve been asking my Divine Self to point out to me when and how I am being unkind, unloving and indeed ABUSIVE to myself and let me tell you, it’s been an EYE-OEPNER! 😉 

But it’s also been EXTREMELY rewarding!

Because I find that the kinder I am to myself, the more energy I have to get things done.  The things that make me happy, that bring me joy.  The things that are bringing more of what I want into my life finally.  And it is also helping me be a better coach/mentor for my clients because I am even more quickly spotting it when they are being self-abusive!  You see we ALL do it and we do it so “normally” that it is just background noise – we tune it out without realizing the damage it is doing to ourselves.

So my Higher Self used Facebook as a tool for me this morning so that I could see the progress I’m making.  I am no longer tolerating me being hurtful to me and so I felt compelled to take some action about the hurtful (from MY perspective) things I saw on FB today.

That’s called PROGRESS folks.  Because, as a very dear friend always says to me (and has now become a standing joke between us) . . . . “Consciousness breeds change.”

We CANNOT change things that we cannot see.  Only when we become consciously aware, are we able to invoke our power of choice!

Today, I choose to be kind to me.  It is my sincere prayer and intention that YOU will do the same for YOU!

 

Namaste.

Filed Under: Align & Shine · Tagged: , ,

HOW BLING BLING DIVINELY ALIGNED HER WAY HOME ….

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This is a story about Law of Attraction at its finest, Divine Alignment, Divine Right Timing aka Divine Synchronicity and about believing that the Universe is truly working for our Highest Good at all times.

I ended last year on a high note when, among other lovely things, I received a completely UNEXPECTED dividend from a VERY long-term investment, and I’m not just talking financial dividend – there was a lot of emotional and spiritual dividends returned here as well.  But, that’s a whole ‘nother story!   For now, the important part for this story is that it was a stunning confirmation from the Universe to stick to our guns and our intentions and our Polyanna “I Believe In Miracles” attitudes!

A lot of deep and profound shifts have taken place for many of us the last few months, and that includes me.  Part of the change in vibrational energy for me has been an expansion and deepening of my belief in miracles and my belief in MY POWER to manifest them!  A power which we all have by the way!  I am only an example!!!

As I mentioned a lot of vibrational shifts have been taking place and for some of us, this new year has brought a desire to change things around our home.  Move furniture, redecorate, declutter, etc.  That vibe started burning a hole up my butt in early December and my unexpected dividend later in the month, made some options available to me that had not been previously possible.  As a result I’ve been a whirlwind of HGTV activities!

But . . . I believed I was a wee short on people to assist me with projects that needed more than 1 set of hands, like lifting heavy furniture, painting kitchen cabinets, etc.

So I after a bit of feeling sorry for myself, I realized I was going to have to get past my fear of rejection and/or bothering people and start asking for help.  Help from my physical friends and of course also help from my non-physical ones as well!

I asked The Universe to help me.

I put out a call on Facebook for a painter and got some recommendations that I’m interviewing now.

I asked my daughter’s boyfriend to help me wall mount a TV and he will be here later this afternoon.

And I figured I could pick up some smallish pieces of new furniture I bought in the back of my Pontiac G6.

Well . . . .

1 piece got in and barely got out alive when I decided to do it all myself!

Now here’s where the story gets REALLY REALLY GOOD so read up!

While shopping for new ottoman/coffee table, I fell madly in love with a chest of drawers I did NOT at all need, but decided to splurge on any way.  (I did also find the ottoman I wanted.)  Today I went to pick up Bling Bling, the new home for my bedroom TV.  Since she was about the same size as the nightstand that barely got out of my car alive, I figured I was good for Bling Bling to be chauffeured home in my back seat.

While sitting in the waiting room of the furniture store, a gentleman walked in whom I recognized as one of the partners from my former law firm (back in 2007 when I was still  a legal secretary).  “J” was there returning an item and we exchanged pleasantries and chatted.  The warehouse then said my cabinet was ready to be loaded and I went to my car.

Sadly, a few minutes later, it became apparent Bling Bling was NOT going to fit in my back seat as I had hoped.  But, synchronistically,  “J”, who was about to drive off after concluding his return, overheard the conversation.

He asked me where I lived, I told him, and then . . . to my complete surprise and amazement,  he offered to have Bling Bling loaded up in his SUV and bring it to my house!!!!!

HOW EFFING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

But wait there’s more!!!!!

I had figured I would come back on a subsequent trip and get the ottoman another day, but realized with J’s SUV, I could probably get both right now!  I asked J if he would mind waiting another few minutes so they could load it up also and he VERY KINDLY agreed to that too!!!!

So let’s recap here.

Me, a few days ago, being afraid I wouldn’t have the help I needed to complete some of my projects.

Me, sitting in a waiting room at a furniture store, AT THE EXACT SAME TIME, a former co-worker (PARTNER!)  from a job I left  5 years ago, walks in.

Me, shaking my head wondering how Bling Bling was gonna get home when she didn’t fit in my car,  but trusting that SOME solution would arise.

And the heavens open up . . . .

And the Magic happens in a way that I couldn’t have manipulated or controlled in a thousand years!

J, who just “happens” to be in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time, and is exactly a nice guy . . . synchronistically becomes my delivery angel!

After J drives off, having taken the burden of not only the delivery, but also getting both pieces of furniture out of HIS car into my garage, Me, standing in my garage with tears in my eyes and arms outstretched to the sky, saying to the Universe  . . .

THANK YOU GOD!

The moral of the story is . . . . 

BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! 

Keep your heart, mind and soul ready to receive, and 

Gratefully acknowledge and appreciate EVERY single synchronicity!

May you always be Divinely Aligned!

Namaste.

 

 

Filed Under: Featured Bottom ·

MORGANA RAE TALKS ABOUT FINANCIAL ALCHEMY

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Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 15 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Morgana Rae whose book Financial Alchemy: Twelve Months of Magic and Manifestation launches on Amazon Wednesday January 23, 2013.  Morgana and I became friends when we met at a marketing conference a few years ago.  We’ve stayed in touch and recently were able to catch up in person when Morgana was visiting here in Las Vegas.

Morgana Rae is an internationally acclaimed life coach, speaker and author of Financial Alchemy: Twelve Months of Magic and Manifestation. Widely regarded to be the world’s top Relationship with Money Coach, she has been featured on ABC-TV, PBS, NPR, FOX News Radio, United Press International and The Wall Street Journal online, and is frequently a featured expert on programs with Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, John Gray, John Assaraf and T Harv Eker. Named one of 2012’s Top Women in E-commerce by WE Magazine, Morgana has guided thousands of entrepreneurs, artists, healers and humanitarians to thrive in their purpose, attract more than they chase, and make things happen with ease, flow and synchronicity.

In her book, Financial Alchemy, Morganawalks you through her time-tested program to turn your personal Money Monster of scarcity into a Money Honey of abundance. The book is a self-guided system to help you uncover your limiting blocks to abundance, and transform your relationship with money using a SUCCESS FORMULA that keeps you on track and positively “magnetic”.

Yesterday, Morgana visited Suzie Cheel at http://www.abundancehighway.com/morgana-rae/, where they talked about fear into abundance, debt to abundance and using failures for research and development.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Morgana when I got to ask her some questions on putting magic into action, relationship between Self-Worth & Net-Worth and our relationship with money.  I hope you enjoy it.

——-

Stephanie Rainbow Bell: I’m a big believer in putting magic into action in daily life, and I know you are too!  Would you please give us a couple of practical examples of how to do that?

Morgana Rae: Well, making things happen magically is a combination of inner intention and external action. If you have a conflict on some kind of subconscious level, it will get in the way of what you want to create. So the first step is to get rid of the hidden reason:  there is always some sort of payoff.  You want to find it.

This can take some creativity.  We don’t think we want illness, we don’t think we want poverty… OBVIOUSLY!   We don’t want those things.  And yet… over time we develop creating ways of compensating and coping with adversity. We build benefits to the status quo. I don’t want anyone giving up benefits. We need to satisfy them in a different, better way. Then your unconscious self is in alignment with your external goal.

Another tip that I would add to it is whatever you want always make sure that you’re coming from a place of love.

For example:  I had a neighbor, years ago who was really, really difficult. So, set a strong wish that she would find another place to live where she would be happier.  And I wished her that with so much love and sincerity–that she find another place where she’d be much happier. The next day she started moving to a new apartment.  So I thought that was a bit magical!

Stephanie Rainbow Bell: In my book, Beautiful At Every Size: The Every Women’s Guide to Nurturing Confidence and Self-Esteem, About Your Body, I focused on the relationship of self-worth and your physical appearance. I know you are very passionate about the relationship between Self Worth and Net-Worth. Tell us more about that as it relates to Financial Alchemy.

Morgana Rae: Stephanie focused on the relationship of self-worth and your physical appearance.  Stephanie knows that I’m very passionate about the relationship between self-worth and net worth.

Even though I’ve become pretty well known around the world as the “Money Honey Lady”, my work really isn’t about money.  I’m not a financial adviser.  But I do understand what money represents: worth, love, and safety.

Let’s focus on wealth for a second. I personally don’t believe that your net worth is your true worth!  And yet we are told that all the time– that you are worth this, or your contribution is worth this.  Maybe it’s big and maybe it’s little, and that can be very, very painful! So it’s natural to SUBCONSCIOUSLY want to protect ourselves from the bully that tells us we’re not good enough… even if that bully is money.

Think of being judged when you’re a kid, and told that you don’t measure up. Or suddenly we have a lot of money and people treat us differently. We know we’re the same person. In many instances people make vast amounts of wealth, and they get rid of it as quickly as possible because they want to be loved for themselves again.

Studies have shown that most big lottery winners are bankrupt or dead within three years.  There’s a whole new school of psychology about the negative effects of instant wealth.

The solution is to create a totally new kind of relationship with money—as if money is a person—that is so deeply rooted in love, trust, and respect that ALL relationships and thoughts and behaviors that don’t uplift your value fall away. You have this relationship with money where you feel loved and cherished and safe, and together you two can partner and speak to each other and grow together. Then the cash doesn’t really matter so much because you always know how you can make it.

And that is worth so much more than any specific dollar amount. So I would say that self-worth is worth infinitely more than net worth, because net worth can go up and down but self-worth is the source of everything!

Stephanie Rainbow Bell: I love the concept of putting magic into our relationship with money! Can you elaborate a bit on that please in terms of Financial Alchemy?

Morgana Rae: Magic to me is the mystery. It’s when the unlikely happens. It’s when somebody has been working and working and working and working… and not getting a result for a very long time.  And then you make one small adjustment and the world changes over night.

Magic is  when Lynn Swanson, who when she did what her new (personified) Money Honey told her to do, made over ten thousand dollars in two minutes.  Or when Tanja Jaeger received the funds to pay off all of her debts within three hours of doing the Financial Alchemy® process.  That’s magic!

I see money as a spiritual teacher… as that aspect of Existence, the Universe, or God (choose the label that works for you) that we struggle with.  That needs our love and healing the most. And when we can embrace and adore that part of life that used to be the enemy… a lot of pent up energy can be released. Unlikely miracles tend to happen.

And really, it’s still a mystery to me. I know how to make stuff happen. I know how to teach people to make stuff happen. And then I go back to what the author Arthur C. Clarke wrote, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”  So let’s just call this some advanced technology that I put into a book, so that you can do it yourself.

 

I hope you enjoyed this interview with Morgana Rae and that you’ll check out her book Financial Alchemy: Twelve Months of Magic and Manifestation at http://morganarae.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.php

Here’s why:

Dozens of FREE Gifts When You Buy Financial Alchemy

on Wednesday January 23, 2013.

 

When you buy Morgana’s book on Wednesday January 23, 2013, you’ll also receive DOZENS of beautiful personal development gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe including one from me:  ALIGN & SHINE Your Greatness 21-Day E-Course by Stephanie Rainbow Bell

In addition, as a personal gift from Morgana, she is giving away over 4 hours of MP3 audio from her 3-part Telesummit “Money, Love & Magic!” with 11 world-renowned experts on magic and manifestation, PLUS a LIVE online class with Morgana where she will personally teach you how to use the book Financial Alchemy to get the very best results (and you get to ask her your questions, too!). There are also some extra-special gifts for everyone who buys 20 or more copies of Financial Alchemy to give to friends, clients or colleagues.

To buy Financial Alchemy,
or to find out more about the book and the bonus gifts, go to:

http://morganarae.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.php

Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

 

Filed Under: Align & Shine, Home Top ·

The Key to Abundant Joy Is…

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THE GIFT YOU GIVE YOURSELF 

As inspiration for this article, I pulled a card from my most fave Mythical Goddess oracle deck.  I asked The Universe to guide me to a message that would be most helpful to you and the Priestess of Forgiveness presented herself to us!

The author’s message on this card says:

 “The Priestess of Forgiveness comes to you when it is time for you to examine your heart to find where you have been withholding love from yourself and others. 

Forgiveness is essential now, to let the loving light of the Goddess fill your heart.  Let your ego and judgments of others go forever by opening to the absolution she represents. 

Let your world and your very DNA be transformed through the power of forgiveness.”

As it’s Thanksgiving week here in the United States (as I write this), being in a state of forgiveness makes it a lot easier to be in a state of gratitude.  Family gatherings are a joyous blessing to many but also for many, are a challenge to deal with, bringing up old hurts and sometimes dysfunctional family patterns of behavior.

Forgiveness isn’t about making the other person’s behavior OK.  Forgiveness is a gift of peace you give yourself.  You decide to let go of the anger, resentment, hurt, frustration that YOU are holding, so that YOU can return to your own divinity and be at peace and harmony within YOUR life.

Sometimes the person that needs the most forgiving is the one staring at you in the mirror! In fact, YOU are always the most important person to forgive for whatever you imagine you’ve done so wrong and so terrible that it needs forgiveness.  There is a school of thought, to which I subscribe, that says everything we do is just a step on our journey – no matter how “backward” or “off course” it appears to be at the time.

The bottom line is this:  You can’t be grateful and resentful at the same time.  And you can’t be at peace and war at the same time.  Forgiveness is the magic  transformer.  Forgive yourself, forgive the ones who you think have done “wrong” and you get to return to Peace.

And from Peace it’s very easy to get to Gratitude.

And from Gratitude . . . Joy is only a heart beat away!

Try this quickie meditation:

Take a few moments right now to pause and go into your heart center.  

Close your eyes and connect with your Inner Guidance and Divine Greatness. 

From that space, ask if there is someone (or many ones) in your life that you will be seeing this week perhaps, or a troubling situation, that you would like to choose peace about.  Invite the Priestess of Forgiveness to join you if you like.  

Surround that person or situation AND YOU with glorious gold and pink light that so sparkles and shimmers and fills the space so that PEACE flows all around you.  Allow that Peace to be infused into every cell of your being as you gently open your eyes and return to Now.

And so it is and so it shall be.

 

May you have the courage to forgive 

and may your heart be filled with 

Peace, Gratitude and abundant Joy.

 

Namaste.

Filed Under: Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , , , ,

Here’s A Common Law Of Attraction Mistake . . .

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Do you ever get discouraged because something you really, really want hasn’t shown up yet?

If you are human and reasonably honest with yourself, the answer is probably a resounding YES!  In fact, you might even use even stronger words than discouraged!

It’s disappointing to say the least In this age of “Law of Attraction”, fast food and instant messaging when the object of our desires seems to be forever out of our reach.

And so we make a decision that since we can’t SEE  evidence of our prize arriving on our doorstep, that nothing is happening and it’s NEVER going to arrive.

And that is simply NOT TRUE!

You see, our souls as integral parts of the Universe, know EXACTLY what needs to happen in order for that “prize” to become something real and tangible that we can touch here in “real” time.   Think of it like a giant cosmic, world-size jigsaw puzzle!   Close your eyes for a moment and imagine all the pieces of the puzzle that have to be put in place before the picture is actually revealed!!

Let’s use the example of someone winning the lottery and for our purposes, we’ll call him Joe.

First, Joe has to make a choice, an actual decision, that he wants to buy a ticket.  Then he has to make a choice WHERE he will buy the ticket.  Then he has to actually go and BUY the ticket.  And while Joe is making those choices and taking those actions, the store where he buys the ticket is also making choices and decisions including choosing to sell lottery tickets and going through the process of being a vendor, etc.  And, at the same time, there are the exact right number of people that walk into the store and buy tickets, before Joe.

Let’s not forget about all the steps that have to be set into place involving the process of actually determining the winning ticket!  Can you see how many steps, decisions and choices – pieces of the puzzle – that have to be aligned before Joe actually finds out he has THE winning ticket and manifests his winnings?

Behind the scenes, the Universe is methodically arranging all of the pieces so that Joe can receive his prize.  And what about the pieces AFTER Joe wins the lottery?  The bank, the stores where he’ll purchase all the “stuff” he’s been dreaming about, etc.

Can you see the ENORMITY of the energy behind Joe becoming  a lottery winner?

It takes a helluva lot of energy to manifest into physical form – and sometimes – arranging all those pieces of the puzzle takes more “time” than we think it “should” and therein lies our disappointment!

Here’s a useful and comforting fact for you: over 90% of physical manifestation happens in the NON-physical BEFORE “the prize” can manifest into physical!   WE CAN’T SEE IT while that’s occurring!!  But just like we can’t see the 90% of the glacier that’s under water, it doesn’t mean that our prize doesn’t exist!

So the next time you feel that since you don’t have evidence of your heart’s desire on your doorstep, it’s just not coming – remember this article!  Don’t lose your focus and don’t let doubt, anger or fear dowse the anticipated joy of the arrival of your prize!

Why?

Because another “fact” about how the Law of Attraction works is that how you FEEL has a very direct impact on the “speed” of your manifestation. Every doubtful, fearful, or angry thought is like you holding up a giant STOP sign to the Universe!  The good news is that on the other hand, every joyful, grateful and excited thought and feeling becomes a “GO, GO, GO” sign to the Universe!

I believe our lives are meant to be filled with joy and all the good things in life!  Use your infinite inner power of FREE WILL to create that in your life this week!

Filed Under: Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , , , ,

PROUD To Be An American

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IT’S A PRIVILEGE!

 

Filed Under: Latest News ·

Prayers for Hurricane Sandy and the Elections

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Prayers From Marianne Williamson

I was inspired by Marianne Williamson to create this graphic of her prayers for those affected by Sandy and about the U.S. Elections. Please pray and share as you feel inspired.

Namaste.

Filed Under: Featured Right, Latest News · Tagged: , ,

How To Be More Prosperous

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Want more $$$ in the bank? 

OK . . so I know the answer is YES!  (probably more like “Duh?  OF COURSE I DO!!!!) . . . .

This isn’t a subject I write about very often, but it seems to be “up” this week so here we go.

Bear with me here, you’re gonna have to do a little self-investigation in order to actually add the cash because it’s all really about your money mindset.

I’d love to offer you a magic pill, or cash-generation system (perhaps a very “special” printer for the basement [wink-wink]) but I don’t have one of those.

The 5 Questions

What I do have are 5 questions that will help you begin to change your Money Mindset – which is the starting place for any physical manifestation (aka “mo’ money”) can show up.

We all have our “Highest and Best Self” and can access Divine Wisdom if we choose to.  Today’s article is going to give you an introduction to an aspect of you, I like to call your Inner Money Magician!

And don’t poo-poo it before you try it.  Let’s face it – you have nothing but more moolah to gain, so in the spirit of “What-The H-E-double-toothpicks”, let’s get started!

I suggest you grab a pen and paper or open up a doc on the computer to respond to these questions.  And just do it NOW.  Yeah I know you are busy and you don’t have time, and you can’t be bothered.  But if you REALLY want more money, then what better use of your time is there?

And you don’t have to write a novel here . . . a few words, or 2-3 sentences that are the first thoughts that come to your mind is all that is necessary.

And yeah – you can do it in your head, but trust me, it gets into your subconscious WAY BETTER if you write it!

Ready?  COOL!  

Let’s change your money mindset!

    Q1:  Write down the 3 words that FIRST COME TO YOUR MIND about money.  Don’t judge ’em – just write ’em.  No one has to see this.  But if you wanna change your mindset, you gotta come clean with YOU!

   Q2:  If you had all the money you need to be EXTREMELY comfortable (including vacations, a decent car, nice house, etc) . . . what do you think would be the first 3 words that come to your mind?

    Q3:  Is there a difference In the words you used between Q1 and Q2?

   Q4:  Write down how you FEEL about the difference (if there is one).  Are you mad?  Happy? Frustrated?  Are you pissed off you are even bothering with this little exercise?

   Q5:  If you could wave a magic wand RIGHT NOW to change how you are feeling about money, what would FEELINGS would you change?   Remember – we are talking about your emotions and feelings – not the circumstances.  While it’s tempting to want to wave the wand and see a few mill magically appear at your doorstep, that’s an outside circumstance you do not have the power to control.  However, you ALWAYS have the power to control what you are THINKING and FEELING.

So to reframe Q5 —  if you ALREADY HAD a few million sitting in the bank, how do you think you would feel about money?

Interesting yes?

Did you come up with some answers that surprised you a bit?

Hopefully you answered YES!!!  Because, that means you have just become more conscious about how to improve your ability to receive more money.

Here are some of the ways you’ve ALREADY changed your money mindset by answering these questions (and if you haven’t done the questions yet — what are you waiting for? ;-))

  • You showed you have the courage to see more Truth
  • You probably discovered some fears or beliefs that you may not have realized fully you had
  • You discovered you DO have an Inner Money Magician who helped you answer the “if you already had money” questions
  • You brought up some new ideas from your subconscious mind into your conscious mind which is where you have the power to make changes!

I’d say that’s all pretty cool!  As one of my dear friends tells her clients:  “Consciousness precedes change!” 

You cannot change until you become aware!  So give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for taking the time, energy and effort to respond to this little questionnaire!  It’s a GREAT start!

Your Mission For The Week:  Start noticing your thoughts about money this week without judgment or criticism.  That’s a great first step.  Get to know Your Inner Money Magician a bit better!  Start up a dialogue!  Ask it to help you become more aware of your hidden beliefs about money! Take some notes!

Your Inner Money Magician is here to help you . . . and so am I! 🙂

Here’s to your Pro$perity!

Filed Under: Featured Bottom, Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , , , ,

The Naked Truth?

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I spotted this post by Claire Brummell in her Facebook Group, Feminine1st, of which I’m a member.  I was captivated by her transparent assessment of her reactions to her own physicality on her first experience at a hot springs and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

So, what was my naked truth?

So last week, I Claire Brummell, author of this post, began to share my naked truth…prompted by a trip to the hot springs out here in San Francisco….and today I reveal all (pun intended) about my experience…

When I first arrived at the hot springs I was very aware of how naked everyone was. Walking into a co-ed dressing room with numerous other people…both some that I knew and some that I didn’t, I realised how conscious I was of it.

…and how much I didn’t want to acknowledge or look at anyone’s bodies…including my own.

For the first hour or so at the springs I felt like a floating head. I was totally avoiding acknowledging anything that existed from the neck down. It wasn’t that I had any particular issue with it…it was just such an unusual experience that it took a bit of adjusting.

Then one of the friends that I was with suggested that we do ‘the hot and cold pools’.

Now, the hot and cold pools at Harbin are VERY VERY hot and VERY VERY cold. The idea is for you to first submerge yourself in the very very hot pool…then when you feel it’s time to get out submerge yourself in the very very cold pool…to stimulate the blood flow to the whole body….and repeat this process 7 times.

It sounded good to me, so I thought let’s give it a go.

Now, I’ve always struggled a bit with extremes of temperature…so it would have been reasonable to believe that this could have presented a challenge for me. …and it did.

I was advised before we entered the pools that the trick with the hot pool is to move very, very slowly…and with the cold pool to get your shoulders under the water as quickly as possible.

No problem.

Or so I thought.

When I started descending the steps to the hot pool, at first it seemed fine. Step one was OK…step 2 was quite warm…and step 3 felt like my feet were on fire.

Just walk slowly I kept reminding myself.

It was quite an unusual experience and by the time I got fully into the pool I could feel my skin prickling.

I’ve no idea how long I stayed in that first time, but I doubt it was longer than a minute.

So with the time in the hot pool done, it was time for the cold plunge pool.

…and it was COLD.

If you know me well, you’ll know that I’m normally on the chilly side (to put it mildly!) so the idea of submerging myself in extremely cold water didn’t exactly appeal…but I knew it was all part of the process so I gave it a go.

Wow.

I don’t think I’ve ever known what cold was before!

After the hot pool the cold pool felt like it was only a few degrees above freezing (I believe it’s actually in the low 60s)…and it was a real shock to the body.

But sure enough, once shoulders were in and I began to relax into it…it began to feel very refreshing. My skin was tingling and I felt incredibly alive.

…and then very cold again…so it was time to revisit the hot.

I’m not sure exactly where in the 7 cycles through the hot and cold pools the change happened…but it was sudden, and it was powerful.

I went through a period of time where it no longer felt like my body and mind were connected. My body was going through the process in the water but my mind felt like it was floating somewhere else….and then it happened.

I was in the hot pool when I suddenly felt the culmination of all of the hot and cold plunges together and my skin felt like it was buzzing. As I came out of the water I felt like some sort of mythical goddess emerging from the heat…(I think that the heat might have gone to my head!)

As much as this might sound a little ‘la la’ or ‘hippy happy clappy’ to coin a term that I affectionately use for experiences that are a little outside of the norm, one thing was very clear.


I felt very empowered and totally connected to my body.

Not only that but I felt very comfortable with my body…and appreciative of it. I felt proud of it.

Every hint of resistance regarding being naked in public had gone, and I allowed myself to just enjoy the experience.

Shortly after completing our hot and cold experience we decided to indulge in the steam room with a sugar scrub…and got chatting to a couple of the other people in there.

At that point I saw just how natural it was for everyone else at the springs. I realised that since I’d arrived, not once had I felt leered at or uncomfortable with anyone there.

We all chatted in the same way we would if we’d all been in there fully clothed (although we’d have all been significantly warmer!)

The rest of the day was a real eye-opening experience….literally.

I started looking at the bodies around me…including my own. It was plain to see that every single body in there had something about it that was beautiful….and every single body had something that could be seen as a flaw, or an area that could be improved in some small way.

It was also clear to me in that moment how what those areas of beauty or improvement are is completely subjective. What I might think of as an area that could be changed or improved, could be the very area that someone else might see as beautiful and perfect….and vice versa.

One of the friends I was at the hot springs with described them as walking talking works of art…which I think summed it up beautifully.

I got to experience the elements…sun, water, wind and earth first hand…without any compromise or restriction…and it was great.

Some time to just be.

No masks, no costumes, nothing to hide behind.

All of me.

Complete. Whole. Perfectly Imperfect.

My naked truth was that I realise now that I was quite disassociated from my body, and I wasn’t really comfortable owning it in public.

My experience at the hot springs really provided the perfect opportunity to embrace every single part of it. Allowing me to love and appreciate every single curve, just the way that it is.

So this week I invite you to explore your own naked truth. See where it is now, and where you might like it to be.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you need to whip your kit off at the nearest public venue (depending on your location the authorities may have something to say about that!)…but I do invite you to see what experiences might help you to connect deeper with your own body…and to accept it more completely, just the way that it is.

Because as with everyone at the hot springs…all bodies are beautiful, all bodies are flawed, and that’s what makes them perfectly imperfect.

Stay Fabulous (whether you’re naked or fully clothed!)

CREDITS FOR THIS ARTICLE:
AUTHOR:  Claire Brummell
FROM WEBSITE:  Feminine 1st
DIRECT LINK:  http://www.feminine1st.com/so-what-was-my-naked-truth/

Filed Under: Around The Web, Body Image, Featured Bottom · Tagged: , , ,

How To Be Positive Even When You Are Scared @#%less

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How can you be positive even when you are scared #$&%less?

Well, you can pretend you are in an Alternate Reality in the holodeck of The Enterprise where only good vibes exist and you always make fabulous choices and decisions!

What would you do DIFFERENTLY if you had no history or memory of anything that happened prior to this moment?

Pretty astonishing thought isn’t it?

Pause a moment and just let the enormity of it sink into your bones.

What if you didn’t remember how it felt when your mom said something critical about how you look?

What if you didn’t remember how it felt when s/he didn’t call you back after that date?

What if you didn’t remember that money was “hard to come by”?

Can you see how much we let our past control our present? 

I know I’ve written about this before, but when I saw this quote from Naomi Dunford at IttyBiz.com this morning it actually almost brought tears to my eyes.

Why?

Because, even I (who live and breathe this stuff as much as poss 24/7), am still filled with pains from my past experiences.  No matter how much Ho O Pono Pono (Hawaiian forgiveness process), prayer and meditation I do.  No matter how much tapping (EFT) or Abraham-Hicks (Law of Attraction) videos I watch.  No matter how many tears or tissues I’ve gone through.

The pain is still there.

It’s gonna be there as long as we are in human form!

Diminished over time?  ABSOLUTELY!

Every present in my thoughts?  Thankfully, not always.

But the moment we butt up against one of those hurtful memories in our current world, the floodgates tend to open.

And THAT’s where the danger lies.

Danger in the sense of  . . . if we get swallowed up by the painful flood of emotions, then we will not be making our decisions or our choices from our most powerful and greatest self!

And we don’t want that!

We want to be as present in our greatness, in our amazing wonderful selves as we can be in any given moment.

And 1 way to do that is to use today’s tool the next time you notice a fear or insecurity or “concern” popping up.

Ask yourself – RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT:  “What would I do/think/feel/say if I had NO MEMORY of the past?”

And then make your choice according to your CURRENT Divine Wisdom.

Your Divine Self is always conspiring on your behalf for YOUR Highest Good.

It has no judgment.

And it has no memory.

Allow yourself to tap into that Divine Guidance BEFORE you take the next step.

Because that next step . . . will be tomorrow’s memory.

And what if you had only FABULOUS memories?

 

Ahhhhh    . . . . now THAT’s a WAY COOL question isn’t it?

Let’s all dwell in THAT reality shall we?

Filed Under: Featured Bottom, Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , , ,

Because It’s MY Body

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Ragen Chastain, the author of this article, is one of my MOST FAVE Size Acceptance advocates and after reading this, you will probably agree!

 

Because It’s My Body!

I was recently asked why we don’t weigh people like luggage to determine the cost of their airline ticket. Sure, particularly muscular and/or tall people would likely flip out since they would assume that this wasn’t meant for them but was rather was a punitive means of punishing fat people.  And obviously you can’t tell whether or not someone will fit in a seat by their weight.  But those aren’t the real reason that it’s not ok.

The real reason is that it’s not luggage.  It’s my body.

It’s not a representation of greed or capitalism.  It’s my body.

It’s not a picture without a head to accompany yet another OMGDEATHFAT article.  It’s my body

It’s not a stand-in for my true health and well being.  It’s my body.

It’s not for you to judge. It’s my body

Do you get it?  It’s my body. So back off.

My body is far too valuable to be treated like a car whose worth is lowered because of some wear and tear.  It’s far too astounding to be a metaphor or a political statement.  It’s far too complicated to run on the same formula used to fuel a lawn mower. It is far too profound to be reduced to a ratio of weight and height.  And it is far too amazing to be judged by anyone.

Because it’s my body.

Ragen Chastain

CREDITS FOR THIS ARTICLE:
AUTHOR:  Ragen Chastain
FROM WEBSITE:  Dances With Fat
DIRECT LINK:  http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/because-its-my-body/

Filed Under: Around The Web, Body Image, Featured Left · Tagged: , , ,

I Wish I’d Know THIS Sooner…Self Empowerment

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Abraham, the collective entity channeled by Esther Hicks, coined a phrase many years ago . . . 

 

“ALL IS WELL AND GETTING WELLER! “

 

Personally, I LOVE THAT STATEMENT!

Let’s Talk about Self Empowerment!

It makes me breathe easier when I choose to believe it.  I literally let out a big  AHHHHHH of relief!

I won’t debate with you whether it is a factual statement.  Of course, if you want to, you can point out any number of things in the “real” world that support the opposite position – that things are really MUCKED UP!

But one of the other tenets of Abraham’s teachings is that we create our own reality.

What that means to me is that if I am very selective about the thoughts I think, the actions I take, the emotions I express . . . that I can, indeed, create my own version of reality at any time.

There can be chaos in the world, but I don’t have to participate in it.  I don’t have to spread the word of gloom and doom.  I don’t have to talk about the “terrible” accident that occurred on the freeway.  I don’t have to watch the news or incessant replays of the latest “disaster” in the world.  I don’t even have to have the internal conversation about why my partner or kid or friend were “horribly wrong” when they said X Y and Z.

 

And here’s why that’s important.

 

It may be different for you (or you may just not realize it), but when you watch the 99% negative news reports on TV you are choosing (unconsciously perhaps) to LOWER YOUR VIBRATION.  The same thing happens when you keep telling all your friends about the latest argument you had with your kid or partner.  Or when you replay it over and over in your own mind!

Lower vibrations move you away from Joy.

 They move you away from Inner Peace.

They move you AWAY from Love.

The way the Law of Attraction works and quantum physics too for that matter,  grossly overly simplified is:  LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.

That means you can’t feel PEACE if you believe that there’s a “right” and “wrong” about the latest conflict in the world.

You can’t attract JOY when you feeling miserable because your bank account may not be as full as you would like.

You can’t find LOVE if you condemn a political party for its views.

I know that’s a pretty radical approach to life.  It won’t feel OK for many.

I’m OK with that.

You see, I don’t need YOU to approve of my approach in order for ME to be at peace.

I respect your right and absolute privilege to choose what YOU want to think, believe and do.

Even if it is in complete conflict with my own viewpoint.

Even if it is in complete conflict with our cultural viewpoint.

Because, that way, ALL IS WELL in MY world.

I maintain my sense of peace.

I maintain my sense of calm.

I maintain my sense of joy.

And if I’m feeling peace, calm and joy inward, I also radiate it outward, which contributes to peace, calm and joy in the world around me.  The energetic ripple effect.

So this week, think about what you are rippling out.

And if you don’t like it, remember you can change it in a heartbeat.

 

No shame, no blame.

Just shift to a better feeling place, a happier ripple!

Sending you ripples of peace, joy and love!

 

 

 

Filed Under: Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , , ,

Believe in YOURSELF!

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.

Use this powerful affirmation whenever you are feeling unsure of yourself and/or overwhelmed.

It has served me well for nearly 30 years! Learning to BELIEVE in Yourself and to TRUST Yourself is one of the most important lessons we can learn!

 

“I BELIEVE I am Divinely Guided.

I BELIEVE I will always take the right turn of the road.

I BELIEVE I can do all things with God who strengthens me.”

 

Filed Under: Featured Bottom, Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , ,

THE ZEN OF SALMON: How To Stop Swimming Upstream

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…

What do you and salmon have in common?

 

Perhaps that you (and I) spend quite a bit of our lives swimming upstream! Fine tuning our goals, believing and having more self awareness is the focus.


Salmon are “programmed” to reproduce in the same waters from which they were hatched.  The problem is that they are hatched in fresh water, but live in salt water as adults.  When their internal clock says it’s time to spawn, they use their sense of smell among other things, to return to their birthplace, hook up with a mate and after making several nests (called redds) they eventually expire from exhaustion!

Sadly, some of us humans do the same – although without the clear purpose (reproduction) of the salmon.

That’s not very Zen-like!

We have a purpose – to make life better for our kids, to build a business that will last, or whatever it may be, and we determinedly pursue our purpose with all the right and good intentions as we push ourselves from one goal to the next, one achievement to the next, one dream to the next.

And if you are enjoying that ride – then GOOD ONYA as the English say!

But for many of us, myself included, that constant pushing onward and upward becomes exhausting and more importantly, disillusioning.  We get caught up in a cycle of constantly STRIVING and STRUGGLING for an ever-illusive bigger and better goal, dream or aspiration.

Is it wrong to want something more than you currently have?

Not necessarily.  After all, according  to the Law of Attraction, each “wanting” sends an energetic Rocket of Desire to the Universe and when we align our thoughts and actions energetically to that desire, we manifest it.  It’s how we “get stuff”!

And also, nothing can ever be “wrong” per se!  It’s all just a step in our human journey.  Wrong is a word in the human vocabulary, but the soul, the Universe, God, Universal Source Energy – whatever terminology you choose – doesn’t have a judgmental vocabulary.  It only knows energy and the level of vibration – that’s also the study of Quantum Physics!  It’s mathematical or science or both, but it’s not a value judgment!

So let’s get back to us and the salmon. 

Thankfully, we are different than salmon because we have a very complex brain!  And we can bypass our programming if we devote some time and attention to it!  Just because we may have been told as children that the only way to get ahead is to “work hard” and that our current culture still supports that paradigm, doesn’t mean we are compelled ever-after-more to follow it!

Because as humans, we have the power of choice!  Once we become aware of other options, we can dwell a pause, re-evaluate and make a different choice if we want!

That’s one of the things that makes us different than salmon!

And that’s very ZEN!

The point is that if we are constantly struggling and striving, aka swimming upstream, we DO get too tired, physically, emotionally and spiritually to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

And ENJOYING THE JOURNEY is the whole reason we are here!  We wanted to have a human experience because it had variety and because it gave us opportunities to expand our experience energetically.  As Divine Source we believe that being human is FUN!  And then, as we take on human form, we FORGET THAT!

And we come out of the shoot, a bit like the salmon!  Pre-programmed by our mere humanity for struggle and strife.

ICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Let’s knock it off!

Let’s choose again!

Let’s use our physical brains to re-evaluate!

Let’s remember our Divine intention!

Look – I get that there are some things we still feel we “have to” do . . . like laundry and going to work.  But don’t let those “have to’s” become the “onlys” . . . .

Don’t let your whole life be about traveling from one “have to” to the next!  We miss the point entirely when we allow ourselves to do that.  We go back to being salmon!

See if you can reduce the number of “have to’s” in your life.

See if you can change your attitude about a “have to” into an “I choose to” or even better “I WANT to.”

See if you can remember to literally stop and smell the roses in between the “have to’s”  and  really be consciously present in the now moment the next time you give the family pet a pet! Or really notice the twinkle in your beloved’s eye.  Or the sparkle of the morning dew on the grass.

Even while you are in the midst of a “have to” you can stop and become grateful. Appreciate the RESULT of the “have to” – in the laundry example… it may seem like the chore but who doesn’t love the smell and feel of fresh sheets on the bed! Or clean knickers!!!

While I certainly do not want to malign the magnificent salmon as a species, I do want us to remember that we are different.

We have the power of choice.

We do not “have to” swim upstream and die of exhaustion.

Let’s choose a little ease and grace shall we?

Let’s ZEN shall we . . .

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Namaste!

 

Filed Under: Featured Left, Inner Peace · Tagged: ,

Love Yourself!

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This message is going to be on the shorter side.

Because . . . .

What I’m hearing is just to tell you a few things about …

Boosting Self-Awareness and Self Acceptance

Like . . .

You MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the world by your presence.

You are ENOUGH just as you are.

You are AWESOME.

You are SPECIAL.

You are VALUABLE.

You are NEEDED.

You are WANTED.

You are CARED ABOUT.

You are LOVED.

You are BEAUTIFUL.

Now . . . .

Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it . . . 

Is . . . 

To . . . 

 

BELIEVE IT!

Filed Under: Featured Right, Inner Peace · Tagged: , , ,

Who Decides If You Are Beautiful?

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I devoted Chapter 22 of my best-selling book BEAUTIFUL AT ANY SIZE:  The Plus Size Women’s Guide to Nurturing Confidence & Self Esteem to the subject of this guest post from Tamara Gerlach’s website, so you know it is very near and dear to my heart!  As I quoted in my book,  W.C. Fields says . . . “”It ain’t what they call you that matters, it’s what you answer to!”

 

Are You Beautiful?  . . .  Who decides?

 

YOU DO!

 

There’s a woman I know. You know her. In fact, she might be you. She might be my mom, or my sister, or even me. She’s smart. She’s accomplished. She’s compassionate and loving. She’s changing the world in her own way. And she thinks she’s a failure. Why? Because she’s fat. Or at least she thinks she’s fat. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter, because she believes it. She believes that she is fatter than she “should” be. No accomplishment in her life competes with her less-than-ideal body. She will always think of herself as having failed.

Or will she?

Here’s the question I want to ask her… who has the right to tell you you’re not beautiful just the way you are? Who?

Possible answers include:

1. Everyone

2. Madison Avenue

3. Hollywood

4. Simon Cowell

5. The clerk at Macy’s

6. Your dad/mom/uncle/grandmother/sister/step-brother

7. Your husband/boyfriend/partner

8. Your boss/ex-boss/coworker

9. The girls in your sixth grade gym class

10. ______________________ [fill in the blank]

11. No one.

The only correct answer to this question is 11.

No one has been given the official seal of the universe to infallibly dispense the label of beauty upon those few who meet some absurd, arbitrary ideal. Your beauty is not up for public approval, national referendum, or The Galaxy’s Next Top Model.

Your beauty is self-apparent to everyone who loves you.

In sociologist Brene Brown’s wonderful TED talk about love and connection (watch it here), she says the difference between people who feel a sense of worthiness and belonging and people who don’t is that… they feel a sense of worthiness and belonging.

Yes I know, it’s a tautology. You see, the difference isn’t that they come from wealthy families or poor families, or that they had happy childhoods or unhappy ones.

The difference is their belief about themselves.

Brown’s research doesn’t cover this, but I suspect that the difference between people who believe that they are beautiful and people who don’t… is simply a belief in their own beauty. The difference is not between women who are 5’10”, weigh 120 lbs, and look like Kate Moss and women who are 5’5”, weigh 220 lbs, and look like Gertrude Stein. The difference is not that women who obsess about their weight and diet feel beautiful and women who don’t feel ugly. (Interestingly, the opposite may be more true!)

The difference is whether or not you believe you are beautiful.

No one has the right to define beauty in a way that excludes you. Not even you. Beauty is not objective. Even normative ideas of beauty change enormously over history and between cultures.

Why do we allow ourselves to feel terrible about our bodies?

Is it true that a woman can solve global poverty, cure cancer, invent cold fusion, plant a tree, or raise a happy child, and still look in the mirror and feel like a failure because her body doesn’t match some idea in her head about what it should look like?

You deserve better. You deserve to feel beautiful whatever your body looks like or feels like.

I think of Karen Carpenter, the singer who haunted my dreams as a child. Her voice was gorgeous and pure, she was an accomplished drummer, and a beautiful woman. Yet she always believed she was fat, and therefore ugly. All of her success musically meant nothing to her if she was fat, and she starved herself to death as a result. You can see clearly how ridiculous Karen Carpenter’s misplaced beliefs were. Can you see that in yourself?

Why is fat the be-all and end-all of beauty?

So what if you’re fat, or if you think you’re fat? Let yourself be fat and beautiful. Let yourself be beautiful with these five extra pounds, with these fifty extra pounds, with whatever number of extra pounds you imagine you have. Let them be beautiful too. Screw anyone who doesn’t believe you’re beautiful. They aren’t the boss of your beauty or anyone else’s.

You’re smart. You know better.

Treat yourself better.

CREDITS FOR THIS ARTICLE:
AUTHOR:  Kimber Simpkins
FROM WEBSITE:  Tamara Gerlach
DIRECT LINK:  http://tamaragerlach.com/perspective/are-you-beautiful-who-decides-you-do/

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