Stop Hurting Yourself!

Only LOVE brings Your DreamsTo Your Door

I did something this morning that I’ve never done before.  In fact I did it TWICE! 

And then I wondered “What the HELL was THAT all about?” 

Well here’s the story …

Generally, as I browse FB, I see mostly positive and/or innocuous stuff which is what I WANT to see.  Every now and then I might see something I don’t particularly like or even find offensive, but usually when I do, I just scroll past it and honor everyone’s right to to post whatever they please. 

But THIS morning, THIS morning it was different.  As I was glancing at my feed,  I spotted a “joke” that I believed was offensive to plus size women.  And instead of ignoring it as usual, I politely commented that I found it offensive FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.

That was scary for me to do.  Like I  said, I pretty much follow the “Live and Let Live” principle but  today, it felt like the right thing to do to SAY something!  

As I scrolled a little further . . . I found a photo of a group of devout religious people praying.  The photo had been “edited” in a VERY derogatory way with an equally derogatory caption.  This time I reported the photo as abusive to FB.

But these 2 actions had me asking myself. . . “What is THIS all about Steph?  Why did these things offend you so much this morning?

And then I got my AHA moment . . .

You  see I’ve been specifically focused on being kinder to myself.  Of loving myself EVEN THOUGH this or that hurts.  Or this or that itches uncomfortably.  Or I think I “should” have done that thing that has been on my (impossible-to-ever-get-done) to-do list.

I’ve been asking my Divine Self to point out to me when and how I am being unkind, unloving and indeed ABUSIVE to myself and let me tell you, it’s been an EYE-OEPNER! 😉 

But it’s also been EXTREMELY rewarding!

Because I find that the kinder I am to myself, the more energy I have to get things done.  The things that make me happy, that bring me joy.  The things that are bringing more of what I want into my life finally.  And it is also helping me be a better coach/mentor for my clients because I am even more quickly spotting it when they are being self-abusive!  You see we ALL do it and we do it so “normally” that it is just background noise – we tune it out without realizing the damage it is doing to ourselves.

So my Higher Self used Facebook as a tool for me this morning so that I could see the progress I’m making.  I am no longer tolerating me being hurtful to me and so I felt compelled to take some action about the hurtful (from MY perspective) things I saw on FB today.

That’s called PROGRESS folks.  Because, as a very dear friend always says to me (and has now become a standing joke between us) . . . . “Consciousness breeds change.”

We CANNOT change things that we cannot see.  Only when we become consciously aware, are we able to invoke our power of choice!

Today, I choose to be kind to me.  It is my sincere prayer and intention that YOU will do the same for YOU!



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  1. Sierra says:

    I love this! Life is much better when you are nicer to yourself 😀

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      Thank you Sierra! I definitely AGREE!

      Rainbow Blessings to you!

  2. That’s awesome, Stephanie – both the progress that your higher self has shown you that you’ve made, and the fact that you stepped up and said something about both the things that had drawn your attention on Facebook, rather than staying silent.

    It can be really hard to speak up sometimes – I had an experience a few months back where someone in one of my communities described the state of not charging what you’re worth as “feeling like you’re being raped”… and normally I don’t think of myself as being any kind of language police, but in this instance I HAD to say something. I was terrified about how people were going to react, but I knew I’d feel worse if I didn’t speak up.



    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      Thanks for taking the time to share your experience Tanja! It is always important for us to find appropriate ways to express our feelings and stand up for what we believe is “right” when we are divinely guided. Blessings to you too!

  3. Beautifully said Stephanie. It’s often easier for us to see how others are being unkind to themselves, isn’t it. It’s SO important for us to be kind to ourselves, have positive self-talk and keep an optimistic attitude. It doesn’t mean we won’t have down days, but I think we’ll rebound quicker when we do.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      Yes! We really CAN’T rebound without kindness! Otherwise we just stay in the well!!! Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts Debra!

  4. Thank you Stephanie! I’m trying to be kinder to myself. In sort of a mixed world right now, which makes it hard, but life is much kinder to me now than what it was years ago, when I hated myself all the time 🙂 ♥ Love you!

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      MJ — sooo very happy to hear you are being kinder to yourself AND seeing the results of your kindness TO you being reflected by your outer world! That’s one of the ways to keep motivated to continue a practice of extreme self-care! I really appreciate your taking the time to read and comment! I love you too! Rainbow Blessings!

  5. I’m like you – I usually scroll through and past what I don’t like because I believe in freedom of speech and other’s right to their own opinion. I had never thought of what you did being a self love thing. But OMG! You are so right! Nice way to speak up, stand in your truth and honor YOU. I love it!

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      Awwww! Thanks Laura!!! The key for me was noticing what OTHERS had posted was the mirror for me of what I have been posting on my own (inner) mirror! So taking the outward action was symbolic of the new inner awareness and mindset shifts! Thanks for taking the time to comment! Rainbow Blessings!

  6. Mimi says:

    Totally progress… and I REALLY love that you put in there from your perspective… I think those words puts the whole thing in a new perspective 🙂

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      So appreciate the acknowledgement Mimi! Rainbow Blessings to you!

  7. Being kind to ourselves and loving ourselves as we are is very important. It’s a huge step that must be taken. I take it one step further. I ask myself why it bothers me so. Do I have a similar belief? Do I feel that way about myself? I learn more about myself when I do that and I sometimes find I have a similar belief or thought and that needs to change. I listen to Abraham hicks a lot and they talk about this very thing. Something is upsetting our equilibrium so we are not where we think we are. Great post! Thanks for sharing.

    Julieanne Case
    Always from the heart!

    Reconnecting you to your Original Blueprint, Your Essence, Your Joy| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | The Reconnection| Reconnective Art |

    • Stephanie Rainbow says:

      I agree with you Julieanne. I too do my best to shine the light on myself when someone “pushes my buttons” . .. it’s a great practice that serves me well and apparently you also! Thanks for taking the time to comment! Rainbow Blessings!

  8. Jenny says:

    I fall into the self abusive trap all too often. On a normal day I am pretty cool to myself, but some days – especially when I make a poor choice concerning food – I am worse than a boxer. But I try to catch myself and remember I am human, and to not beat myself up further for beating myself up. Great message, thank you so much 🙂

    • admin says:

      Jenny —

      Thanks for taking the time to comment! I’m so glad the article was helpful to you! And please oh please put away the boxing gloves! Better yet chuck ’em in the trash! Compassion and LOVING YOURSELF MORE are ALWAYS the answer! 🙂 Rainbow Blessings!

  9. Hurrah for you, both for expanding your kindness to yourself and also for speaking out against offensive comments and captions. You clearly are living both consciously and deeply, and appreciating how deep your value runs. Great motivation for all of us to follow suit.

    • admin says:

      Thank you sooo much for your kind words Judy! I very much appreciate your insights and awarenesses also! Rainbow Blessings!

  10. Sorayda says:

    Stephanie, as i started reading i got the impresion that you were learning! and you got it, you ask for clarity and that is what you got! you are expanding your Consciousness and awakening.
    If you don’t face reality then never hits you! Sending Awakening vibes to you for more understanding and love in your live!

    • admin says:

      Exactly Profesora! Thank you for the awakening vibes! We can all use those! 🙂 Rainbow Blessings!

  11. Susan says:

    Way to go, Stephanie.

    • admin says:

      Thank you! Rainbow Blessings to you!

  12. Julie says:

    This is a fabulous post Stephanie, I really enjoyed it. ‘Consciousness breeds change’, wow! That’s great. I see so many people who set out on a new path, then go scurrying back from whence they came as soon as the ‘process’ as you call it, brings up discomfort. I think you’ve nailed it in this post! The message loud and clear is to observe yourself while you’re on your journey, and become curious about your reactions. Don’t retreat! Looking forward to your next article, Julie x

    • admin says:

      Julie — Thank you soooo much for taking the time to read the post and for your very kind words. Sometimes we have to retreat just a bit, in order to regroup. But there’s a way to do that with love and a way that comes from fear. The fear way will definitely keep us stuck, but a conscious acceptance that we are a bit frail and fragile and need to regroup .. . THAT leaves the door wide open for more growth! Thanks again and Rainbow Blessings to you!


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