Archives for April 2012

SIZE 12 TOO FAT TO MODEL

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Too fat to be a Pus Size Model – At Size 14?

The picture that caused a storm in the fashion world

Lizzie Miller is considered too large to model plus-size clothes. Is the reaction that followed the publication of this picture going to change that?

lizzie miller

‘It’s a photo that measures all of three by three inches,” gushes Cindi Leive, editor of US Glamour in a post on the magazine’s blog, “but the letters about it started to flood my inbox literally the day Glamour hit newsstands.” The picture in question, illustrating a story about body confidence, has generated more than 700 comments on the site, and featured on the US Today morning TV programme. What does it show? A beautiful, creamy-skinned naked model . . . with a small roll of stomach fat.
Lizzie Miller, the 20-year-old model in question, agrees that it’s astonishing that, at 5ft 11in and 12.5 stone she’s considered a “plus size” model. “It’s sad,” she says. “In the industry anything over size six is considered a plus-size.” Miller, who is around a US size 12-14 (that is, either average or slightly below average) lost about 60lb when she was 13 but today she is considered too large to model for plus-size lines Marina Rinaldi (she says, “they like girls who are an 8-10”) or Elena Miro. She says that the overwhelming reaction to the tiny photograph, buried on page 194 of Glamour magazine “shows that the world is hungry to see pictures of normal women.”
One wouldn’t have thought this would be news. As Miller says, “pretty much every picture in a magazine or ad is airbrushed . . . I don’t think the public understands how much smoke and mirrors are involved in making women look like that.”
So does the reaction to this picture mean that the tide is turning? Hardly. Even after the deluge of emails, Leive hasn’t made a commitment to using average-sized women in fashion shoots, saying only that the magazine wants to celebrate “all kinds of beauty”. The outcome for Miller, though, has been more positive. She has received more offers of work since the picture was published. And her model agency, Wilhelmina, has told her that she mustn’t lose any weight.

(this is a copy of a post that appeared in http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/02/lizzie-miller-model-fat 
by Naomi Alderman, The Guardian, Wed 2 Sep 2009 00.05 BST)

Filed Under: Around The Web, Featured Left, Plus Size News ·

WHY WRITE ABOUT BODY IMAGE

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This post is written by Kate Fridkis of Eat the Damn Cake.

I write about body image because I love eating cake, but women around me are always dieting.

I write about body image because I have been told it doesn’t matter, but every year, more girls have eating disorders.

I write about body image because everyone cares about beauty, no matter how much we tell ourselves we don’t. And because, really, we are beautiful, no matter how much we tell ourselves we aren’t.

I write about body image because I moved to Manhattan, where suddenly everyone was very thin and very careful about eating and always going to the gym and suddenly it occurred to me that I was not thin enough and not pretty enough and very bad at going to the gym.

I write about body image because I noticed that after I noticed that I was maybe not thin enough, I stopped eating some of my favorite foods. They slipped out of my diet. I said no to dessert. I felt guilty when I gave in and made pasta for dinner. I felt guilty all the time, because all the time, I was cheating. There were all of these rules about what I could and couldn’t eat, and how much of it was OK, and I had somehow memorized them without even being aware of it, and now, when I broke them, I was ashamed.

I write about body image because I got a nose job because my big Jewish nose seemed like the opposite of beauty. Because when I told people that famous, beautiful women never have big Jewish noses, they always said, “What about Barbara Streisand?” and that was a long time ago. No one can think of anyone more recent. And also, because when my boyfriend who became my husband told me over and over that my nose was beautiful, I didn’t really believe him, even though I should have.

I write about body image because people make fun of people who get cosmetic surgery, even though when I got cosmetic surgery, there was nothing funny about it. I hated my face. I wanted to destroy my old face.

I write about body image because I don’t look like a model, but sometimes, automatically, I really wish I looked like a model. And at the same time, I really wish I didn’t wish that.

I write about body image because when I was a little girl, I thought I was gorgeous. I thought that I was gorgeous because I was me.

I write about body image because women are always complimenting each other by saying, “You look like you lost weight!” and because it’s so hard to think that what you are is already enough.

I write about body image because the more I write about body image, the more letters I get from girls and women who tell me how important this topic is. I get letters from women who don’t want to go outside because they feel so unattractive and women whose mothers told them they weren’t ever going to be pretty enough and women who were told by the world that they weren’t worth as much as they actually are, and women who feel fantastic about the way they look and are so relieved. And because the more I write about body image, the better I feel, when I look in the mirror. The better I look to myself. The better I realize I am.

That’s why I write about body image.

And also, cake is just delicious. We really shouldn’t ever give it up.

Kate Fridkis is a Brooklyn-based writer whose work appears regularly on The Frisky and the Huffington Post. She blogs at Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter @eatthedamncake.

Filed Under: Body Image, Featured Bottom, Guest Posts ·

INTUITIVE EATING AS YOUR GUIDE

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Finding Your Voice: Using Intuitive Eating as a Guide to an Intuitive Life

by Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD & Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC
originally published December 08 2011

The process of becoming an intuitive eater can act as a powerful metaphor for understanding the places in us that scare us the most. When we learn to say “yes” or “no” to foods in response to a connection to what we know in our bodies, that same knowing begins to be available in other areas of our lives. These areas may have been long ignored, or under-explored due to the amount of time and space worry and obsessive thoughts about food take up, but becoming an intuitive eater allows us to start seeing ourselves as whole for the first time in a long time.

When we are struggling to set boundaries in our lives and relationships, we are challenged to have boundaries with food. It just seems to work like that. When we begin to understand our body’s requests and begin to have permission to enjoy food and stop eating food, then all of a sudden, we begin to seek and require boundaries in other parts of our lives.

The challenge here may be that eating and food have always stepped in when assertiveness and boundaries were actually what was needed. Many of us never really learned how to state our limits to the people around us, and food (or spending, drinking, etc., etc.) supported us by creating a reliable, albeit temporary, buffer between us and discomfort in our relationships.

Learning to ask for what you need and feeling entitled to do so can be very intimidating because it may not be something you have had to do before. Many have stated that “it feels easier” not to, although it is clear that not having an authentic voice for many years has been far from easy. When our voices are diminished we lose connection to our innate joy, talents, wisdom and sense of place in ourselves.

In The Dance of Connection author Harriet Lerner suggests that the challenge “in conversations is not just to be our self, but to be the self we want to be. That’s why we don’t discover who we are by sitting alone on a mountaintop and meditating, or by being introspective and going deeper, as valuable as these disciplines might be. The royal road for discovering and reinventing the self is through our relationships with other people and the conversations we engage in.”

Not engaging authentically with the world from behind the mask of disordered eating is a powerful and creative coping method that was developed when needed the most. Stepping out from behind the mask of poor body image and dysmorphic ideas about yourself is the way to heal all the way through.

Brene Brown, a researcher who studies the impacts of shame, uses the following mantra to stay true to her authentic voice. “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Just stand your sacred ground.” We are all entitled to take up space and use our voices to secure that space. It takes practice to really know this is true.

Practice intuitive eating and let that be a guide for getting your voice back.

In 2005 therapist Hilary Kinavey and nutritionist Dana Sturtevant started facilitating groups to help women let go of food/weight obsession. Realizing that they shared a similar approach and philosophy regarding food, weight, body image and health – one directly counter to that of conventional institutional paradigms – the two decided to merge their practices to create a partnership that would offer a revolutionary approach to women seeking answers about eating disorders, weight concerns, exercise, and nutrition. Thus, Be Nourished was born. Encouraging a non-diet approach to food, weight and health, Be Nourished offers individual counseling, workshops, classes and retreats to tackle topics like conscious eating, hunger awareness, body acceptance, and self-compassion. For more information, visit Be Nourished.

 

Filed Under: Featured Left, Guest Posts, Intuitive Eating ·

LIFE IS TOO SHORT

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I’m having a “life’s too short” moment after receiving news that a lovely colleague and supportive friend of mine here in town is in ICU at the hospital after having had a stroke a few days ago.  Interestingly enough, my friend and I were supposed to have had a “catch-up” date at her house on the day that she apparently became ill . . . I had been surprised that she had not responded to my texts or phone messages earlier that day to confirm our dinner-time visit.

Her illness particularly struck me because she currently lives alone and her adult son did not find her to get her to the hospital for about 24 hours  . . . I too currently live alone with the exception of my “woman’s best friend” the Lovely Lola Rainbow.

 

As I write this, today is also the first day of a new “schedule” I created for myself – a weekly “TAKE CARE OF ME” day . After 6 months of whirlwhind activity culminating in my (best selling!) book launch and week long birthday celebration, I took some time to regroup and re-evaluate how I wanted the remainder of 2012 (and my entire remaining physical life!) to play out.

 

What did I want to experience each day?

 

How did I want to feel each day?

 

Those are very different questions than “what will I get done on my never-ending TO-DO list today” type questions!

 

I also received a response from my business coach on a piece of marketing copy I had sent to her that I was really proud of and excited about.  Her response was that she “liked” it  . . . .but I read between the lines and asked her what it would take for her to “love it” . . . . I wasn’t overly thrilled with her reply to that query and as I was mulling that over, I heard the news about my friend in ICU.

 

And then Inner Critic, Fear and Doubt voices kicked up a storm!  “What if that was you lying alone at home undiscovered for 24 hours?”, “What if you never make any money?”  “What if this new business area is a complete and total flop?”  “Who are you to think you can do any of this stuff anyway?  So what you just had a #1 best selling book launch – that was YESTERDAY!”

 

Luckily, (well actually it wasn’t luck — it was a firm commitment on my part that INNER PEACE and JOY are my top priorities) . . . I had the clarity to pause.

 

 

And to pray.

 

For my friend OF COURSE!

 

And for guidance for me.

 

And what I heard was . . . .

 

“Steph . . . this is an opportunity.  You made a strong and focused decision and commitment to invest your time in ways that you can feel good about.  You also made a strong and focused decision that feeling as good as possible in any given moment is your goal AND more importantly that it is TOTALLY WITHIN YOUR OWN CONTROL how YOU CHOOSE to feel in any given moment.

 

You’ve been feeling VERY good and you have also been receiving GREAT results from your inspired actions.  This moment is no different from all of those.  You STILL get to choose how you want to feel and how you want to invest your time.

 

You can let fear, doubt and worry grab you by the short hairs, or you can choose to strengthen your connection to your core beliefs  . . . trusting and believing that ALL IS WELL and in Divine Order and taking the actions that lead you to the best feelings you can muster in this moment.

 

It’s ALWAYS your choice . . . and the events of today . . . are just an opportunity you have created to strengthen your convictions or re-evaluate them if you desire.

 

We will support you, as always, in either choice.

 

Which way do you want to go?”

 

(Btw — I noted on the time on the clock in the room at that moment . . . it was 11:11 😉

 

And there it was . . . .

 

Laid out for me quite clearly . . . once again . . .

 

I decided in THAT moment that cleaning my kitchen was the best action I could take to feel the best I could about myself.  As I walked into the kitchen I saw that the oven clock was 1 minute off the microwave clock and both were a minute or two off the office clock, so I got to have 2 more “11:11” moments and took them as “a sign” that I was on a positive, aligned track!

 

I held my hand over my heart and recited a line from a Marianne Williamson quote I had posted on my fridge:  “Let only LOVE enter here” until both clocks had ticked over to 11:12 J  and then proceeded to clean the hell out of the kitchen!

 

There is something about a clean kitchen that DEFINITELY brightens me.

 

And today that chore gave me the additional time to reflect.

 

And to choose again.

 

And I choose peace.

 

And I choose JOY.

 

And I choose NOT TO WAIVER in my commitment and decision to feel GOOD and to invest my time and attention in ways that expand those good feelings.

 

Because you see . . . I don’t think my friend in ICU is worrying about whether she did her marketing “right” or even whether her kitchen is clean.  She and I are friends partially because we share the same belief system . . . and we both know that the stuff on our to-do list really doesn’t matter in the long run as far as our Divine Spirits go.

 

And we also share the belief that our primary purpose here on the planet is to share our unconditional love and our bright lights . . . first with ourselves . . . and then as far and wide as we can imagine.

 

So in this moment, I know the best thing I can do for my friend . . . is to take care of me . . . and the best way I can take care of me . . . is to remember who I am . . .

 

And who YOU ARE TOOO . . . .

 

A glorious child of a loving Universe with a unique and bright Light and unique and special gifts and talents that only YOU can bring to the world.

 

SO BRING IT!

 

AND BRING IT WITH GUSTO!

 

This physical life at least . . . IS too short to do anything less!!!

 

And besides   . . . it’s what we came here for in the first place!

 

 

[Ed. Note:  My sweet friend Dez made her transition back to pure source energy a few days after I wrote this post.  It’s been a few weeks now, and I often feel Dezi’s energy saying “atta girl Stephie!”]

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Filed Under: Featured Bottom, Inner Peace ·