I’m having a “life’s too short” moment after receiving news that a lovely colleague and supportive friend of mine here in town is in ICU at the hospital after having had a stroke a few days ago. Interestingly enough, my friend and I were supposed to have had a “catch-up” date at her house on the day that she apparently became ill . . . I had been surprised that she had not responded to my texts or phone messages earlier that day to confirm our dinner-time visit.
Her illness particularly struck me because she currently lives alone and her adult son did not find her to get her to the hospital for about 24 hours . . . I too currently live alone with the exception of my “woman’s best friend” the Lovely Lola Rainbow.
As I write this, today is also the first day of a new “schedule” I created for myself – a weekly “TAKE CARE OF ME” day . After 6 months of whirlwhind activity culminating in my (best selling!) book launch and week long birthday celebration, I took some time to regroup and re-evaluate how I wanted the remainder of 2012 (and my entire remaining physical life!) to play out.
What did I want to experience each day?
How did I want to feel each day?
Those are very different questions than “what will I get done on my never-ending TO-DO list today” type questions!
I also received a response from my business coach on a piece of marketing copy I had sent to her that I was really proud of and excited about. Her response was that she “liked” it . . . .but I read between the lines and asked her what it would take for her to “love it” . . . . I wasn’t overly thrilled with her reply to that query and as I was mulling that over, I heard the news about my friend in ICU.
And then Inner Critic, Fear and Doubt voices kicked up a storm! “What if that was you lying alone at home undiscovered for 24 hours?”, “What if you never make any money?” “What if this new business area is a complete and total flop?” “Who are you to think you can do any of this stuff anyway? So what you just had a #1 best selling book launch – that was YESTERDAY!”
Luckily, (well actually it wasn’t luck — it was a firm commitment on my part that INNER PEACE and JOY are my top priorities) . . . I had the clarity to pause.
And to pray.
For my friend OF COURSE!
And for guidance for me.
And what I heard was . . . .
“Steph . . . this is an opportunity. You made a strong and focused decision and commitment to invest your time in ways that you can feel good about. You also made a strong and focused decision that feeling as good as possible in any given moment is your goal AND more importantly that it is TOTALLY WITHIN YOUR OWN CONTROL how YOU CHOOSE to feel in any given moment.
You’ve been feeling VERY good and you have also been receiving GREAT results from your inspired actions. This moment is no different from all of those. You STILL get to choose how you want to feel and how you want to invest your time.
You can let fear, doubt and worry grab you by the short hairs, or you can choose to strengthen your connection to your core beliefs . . . trusting and believing that ALL IS WELL and in Divine Order and taking the actions that lead you to the best feelings you can muster in this moment.
It’s ALWAYS your choice . . . and the events of today . . . are just an opportunity you have created to strengthen your convictions or re-evaluate them if you desire.
We will support you, as always, in either choice.
Which way do you want to go?”
(Btw — I noted on the time on the clock in the room at that moment . . . it was 11:11 😉
And there it was . . . .
Laid out for me quite clearly . . . once again . . .
I decided in THAT moment that cleaning my kitchen was the best action I could take to feel the best I could about myself. As I walked into the kitchen I saw that the oven clock was 1 minute off the microwave clock and both were a minute or two off the office clock, so I got to have 2 more “11:11” moments and took them as “a sign” that I was on a positive, aligned track!
I held my hand over my heart and recited a line from a Marianne Williamson quote I had posted on my fridge: “Let only LOVE enter here” until both clocks had ticked over to 11:12 J and then proceeded to clean the hell out of the kitchen!
There is something about a clean kitchen that DEFINITELY brightens me.
And today that chore gave me the additional time to reflect.
And to choose again.
And I choose peace.
And I choose JOY.
And I choose NOT TO WAIVER in my commitment and decision to feel GOOD and to invest my time and attention in ways that expand those good feelings.
Because you see . . . I don’t think my friend in ICU is worrying about whether she did her marketing “right” or even whether her kitchen is clean. She and I are friends partially because we share the same belief system . . . and we both know that the stuff on our to-do list really doesn’t matter in the long run as far as our Divine Spirits go.
And we also share the belief that our primary purpose here on the planet is to share our unconditional love and our bright lights . . . first with ourselves . . . and then as far and wide as we can imagine.
So in this moment, I know the best thing I can do for my friend . . . is to take care of me . . . and the best way I can take care of me . . . is to remember who I am . . .
And who YOU ARE TOOO . . . .
A glorious child of a loving Universe with a unique and bright Light and unique and special gifts and talents that only YOU can bring to the world.
SO BRING IT!
AND BRING IT WITH GUSTO!
This physical life at least . . . IS too short to do anything less!!!
And besides . . . it’s what we came here for in the first place!
[Ed. Note: My sweet friend Dez made her transition back to pure source energy a few days after I wrote this post. It’s been a few weeks now, and I often feel Dezi’s energy saying “atta girl Stephie!”]
LET’S CONNECT!